Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division (S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Canadian Sector (Toronto, ON Canada)
November 12th, 2013
Agent Omer’s Log S1/E7
Dear Head of Operations,
I never understood shoving information up your nose, ma’am. Does it hurt? What happen to eating information like the good old days? I guess you wouldn’t be able to access it one demand, but it does remind me of that one time when I swallowed a dime…oh. Of course, ma’am. You don’t want to hear about that. After Coulson, Agent Ward and Agent May rescued a fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agent from their deep cover in Russia, Agent Coulson told the team that the intel we got is classified and eyes only for Level 8 agents. Then he told us we were going to the Hub, which got me me all giddy inside… like what happens to your stomach after eating Taco Bell but in a positive way. I love the plane, but I miss the Hub’s…business. Let’s be honest, having six other people on a plane for weeks can make you feel claustrophobic.
Once we got to The Hub, we hear that Victoria Hand is the agent in charge of the super secret mission, and that woman is legendary. I, on the other hand, am limited to Level 7 status so I went to see my old pals at communications. That’s when I saw him. A PUPPY. IN A S.H.I.E.L.D. TEE-SHIRT. Agent Francis was playing with him, and apparently he got it as a gift from his supervisor after finding a key piece of intel. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Sorry for all caps, ma’am. It’s just annoying to find that your request for a puppy (and then a monkey) has been denied countless times only to find out that your nemesis got one for finding out what Asgardians do on their spare time…
…Okay, breathe. Let’s continue with the debriefing. Agent Ward and Fitz were told that they’re needed for a two man team to–what I later found out through questionable tactics–stop a device called the Overkill that triggers weapons from a distance. I was a little worried about Fitz, since he’s not a field agent, but he had Ward to watch his back. He also told he made some friends from Russia and got the nickname Little Bear which I’m sure is a kids television show (now that I think about he does look like Little Bear if you squint).
Skye was trying to get information out of Agent Coulson on Fitz and Agent Ward’s mission. All he left her with was a “trust the system” before leaving. I’m a bit apprehensive of the system right now. A system that gives Agent Francis a small, furry, living creature when he can’t keep his desk plants alive for more than a week (THERE’S NO SUN AT YOUR DESK, AGENT FRANCIS) but not me. Skye was also not happy with this, being the hactivist that she is with the silly notion of needing to know everything but I helped her anyways. She got me at a vulnerable moment. She also got poor Simmons in on her plan, who doesn’t even like to eat yogurt one day past the expiration date. Long story short: Simmons shot Agent Sitwell with the night-night gun. Simmons is really bad at lying…
So Agent Coulson found out what we did, but not before Skye found out that there was no extraction plan for Fitz and Agent Ward. They had a bit of an ideological war of words before Agent Coulson walked away. Despite telling Skye whether he knew Agent Ward and Fitz weren’t getting an extraction was classified, I did see him look surprised when she told him about the no extraction. This actually explains why he decided to join the rest of us on our plan to get Fitz and Agent Ward out.
For once, we didn’t let a bad guy get away. Everyone is safe and sound. Fitz had fun despite not getting to eat his “prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella sandwich with a hint of pesto aioli” thanks to Agent Ward (he also made me swear to secrecy not to tell Simmons). Agent Coulson brought some good news to Skye about that redacted file. Apparently a SHIELD agent dropped her off at the orphanage but they’re not sure who this agent was: if she was a her mother or was just dropping her off. I do have this nagging feeling that Agent Coulson is hiding something from her the way he walked away like he threw a baseball at a neighbor’s window instead of getting a thank you hug. Mmm…
Another nagging feeling is about Agent Coulson himself. First, Akela Amador said the vague “What did they do to him?” regarding Agent Coulson, then Skye said Agent Coulson is acting like a robot version of himself, and he’s constantly calling Tahiti “a magically place. This can only mean one thing…
…Agent Coulson was brainwash into being a Tahitian spokesperson. I mean, come on. Tahiti is not THAT magical. I should probably tell him my theory, but I think it’s best to keep it to myself until I have more proof. This is exciting! My very own secret mission!
Whoa. I felt something shake. Geez, it’s like the gods are kicking each other’s asses or something to save the universe from eternal darkness…nah.
Agent Ardo Omer