So. American diner chain Denny’s is launching a special The Hobbit-themed menu to celebrate the release of the movie in December. The first of the three The Hobbit films will open on December 14th, but you’ll be able to get your fix at Denny’s from November 6th through to January. There will also be themed playing cards to collect. But it’s the names of the menu items that are truly the star, and they make me think whoever came up with them maybe did their research on the wrong part of the internet.
Here are some of the names, that I swear are not even a little bit made up by me:
- “Lonely Mountain Treasure” (yeah, I’ll BET)
- “Radagast’s Red Velvet Pancake Puppies” (I mean, where do you even start with this one?)
- “Bilbo’s Berry Smoothie” (OK, that one is normal)
- “Build Your Own Hobbit Slam” (this sounds like some kind of a two-for-one deal at a hobbit brothel)
- “Shire Sausage” (BAHAHAHAHAHA)
- “Hobbit Hole Breakfast” (THEY JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE)
- “Gandalf’s Gobble Melt” (We won’t even go into what I think this would be on the hobbit brothel’s menu)
In case you don’t believe me, here is the menu in all its glory, AND a TV commercial.
I’m not sure if this menu is U.S.-only or not, but if it’s not, you can bet the Paper Droids team will be first in line for some “Shire sausage.” 
[Ad Age]
